everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
