do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
