we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
