Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
