he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
