Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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