look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
