did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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