just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He? As in you personified your dick?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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