it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
love makes seman taste better
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
