Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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