I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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