Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
