Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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