His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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