you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
