So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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