This girl is more easily done than said...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
