Need sex. Gaining weight.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
