I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
