i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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