Dual....:-)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
