what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
