Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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