he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
