i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
my liver is dry heaving
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
