ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
