apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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