bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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