Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
How external is "for external use only"?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
