Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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