DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
