Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Your dad touched me again.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
