You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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