The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sorry about my life...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
