Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
