Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
