Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
