Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Fuck appropriateness.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Randomize
