Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
