what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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