I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
