I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
