After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
