YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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