you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
