So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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