She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
