Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
