either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So many bounce houses so little time
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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